The Chaos Theory
by ocbitch
Summary: Every moment counts. What if Will and Adam had taken a just a few more seconds to get to Joan and Ramsey. AU. Joan/Adam. Rated T. Incomplete


Disclaimer: I in no way own Joan of Arcadia or it's characters I merely borrow them for my entertainment!

A/N:This is an AU story. An alternate ending to 'The Uncertainty Principle'. In all AU fics I'm one of those people who needs a definitive event that caused everything to be different and so the one in this is that Will, Adam and the other cops take a few more seconds to arrive that they did in canon.

I wrote this fic after a long spell of muse missin' so please excuse it if it's crap !LOL!. Also the 1st JOA fic i've ever wrote. It will be Joan/Adam and I will rate it a T just to be safe but it won't be graphic or anything.

A/N 2: I am sorry about how messy the POV seems sometimes but it's hard to write a fic about a tense situation from only 1 perspective.

_**The Chaos Theory**_

_**Chapter 1 **_

"_Can't you just tell your dad that it was my fault?"_

_Standing there Joan could honestly say that she was terrified. Here was a guy that had not only proven to be quite violently unpredictable but also at the moment appeared very agitated and desperate. She didn't have to be the daughter of a cop to know that these things alone where a very dangerous combination to be around. When he revealed the gun Joan had had to try really __really _hard not to cry.

"No, it is not your fault! It's price! He's been after me since seventh grade! Well, now he can go to hell!

Okay well at least he wasn't planning on hurting her but that could change in a heartbeat, she would have to try and play this nice and easy.

Nervously she asked "What are you doing?"

"You know what my record is? It's 12 hits in 14 shots."

'_This is not good, this is not good, this is not good' _she couldn't stop the obvious litany from running through her mind. She wasn't only afraid for her own life but Ramsey's too, if he did something to himself because of all this then she would never forgive herself … or God.

'_Ya hear that up there? You have some serious explaining to do!!!'_

He shot one of the objects that where lined up. The sound of the gun going off and the bullet hitting sent mild shock-waves of pain through Joan's ears and vibrated inside her skull. In a futile attempt to block the pain she raised her hand up to her ears.

She was beginning to get that feeling that her father had talked about before, about the fear that comes with losing control of a dangerous situation, that was definitely what was happening here and all she could think to do was to try and steer this whole thing into saner territory. So in what she hoped was a controlled voice she said "Ohh! OK, wait. Wait. You shouldn't, like, hurt anybody or yourself."

She was starting to freak out here. she thought that God had sent here into this situation with the intentions of making it better but this was so messed up that it just made no sense, he was seriously messed up and she didn't know what he was planning on doing with that gun but she knew that whatever it was she had to stop him.

Ramsey shouted "Quite!" Startling her out of her thoughts. Lowering his voice a little he said "You have to fire between heartbeats" As he continued shooting the rest of the things on the branch her mind was throbbing with the possible outcomes that would result from her handling this situation poorly, him taking his own life, taking hers, Prices or other students at the dance, those thoughts brought a sick feeling to the pit of her stomach as she contemplated just how possible it was.

'_Don't be ridiculous Girardi, do you really think God would let the situation get that outta control' _But the more she thought about it she realised that she really couldn't rely on that for comfort because no matter how much she liked to believe that it really was God paying her these visits she couldn't completely discount the possibility that she was crazy and was imagining the whole thing. Also she had had a really hard time getting over what the priest had told her at the art show, if the entity visiting her was real what if it wasn't God at all, what if it was …. the other guy?

And then another thought occurred to her, God was always rambling on about us being free to make our own choices, he had told her to observe Ramsey, he said nothing about following him, everything he was always saying about free will made her realise that while this wasn't his fault he had the power to fix it … but he wouldn't. _'But come on he's the Almighty God, he would've warned me right?' _The large blank her mind provided as her answer gave her Goosebumps even worse than the ones she already had.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to get expelled!" It was all supposed to be okay, it was supposed to work out.

"Don't worry about it." The look he gave her wigged her out a little because it was gentle and she even saw a hint of a smile, he should not be looking like that right now!

"I still had a pretty good time." He said in what was probably intended as a reassuring voice and Joan winced inwardly as she failed to suppress her scoff of disbelief at his wild statement

"No, you didn't. this isn't a good time!" She was trying to convince him that this was all wrong and that it didn't have to be this way but it didn't seem to be working.

Gesturing emphatically with his gun toting hand he rambled "Oh, sure it is. See, the way I see it, high school's war. You're the first person to be on my side"

'_Oh my god he's lost it!' _A small part of her brain told her that she was exaggerating on that a little but it was drowned out by the sheer indignation of the rest of her mind.

Still she decided to remain on the path she had set out on and try and talk him down from doing anything stupid.

"But it wouldn't-- it wouldn't be like that if you would just... let people see, like, your whole spectrum." She knew that to him she wouldn't be making much sense but her thoughts and feelings were flooding her so unbidden now that she couldn't make her mouth work in conjunction with her brain and found that she was just saying whatever popped into her head.

"All people want from me is a creeped-out, psycho gun freak, so that's what I give 'em!" Through all the fear and anger she was feeling at the moment she felt a significant amount of pity and guilt enter he at his words. None of this was his fault deep down. In his mind he had been driven to this and he didn't feel like he had a choice.

He wasn't a bad guy, he was still at the light end of the spectrum, he just had a shadow over him at the moment, she had to make him see that.

Desperately she cried out that that wasn't who he was "That's not who anyone is!"

Now she was crying for so many reasons that she couldn't even think all of right now. She just kept thinking that no matter what happened at this point none of it would be okay, not for Ramsey, even if he didn't hurt anyone he had truly wanted to. He had crossed a line that she couldn't even imagine being close to and she couldn't empathise anymore because she couldn't understand the way he was feeling right now.

Seeing Ramsey turn around suddenly drew her attention to what she couldn't believe she hadn't noticed, sirens.

Following his line of sight she saw cars speeding towards them, one of which she was certain was her dad's, and felt an intense mixture of relief and fear, because she didn't know what Ramsey was going to do now.

Turning back around he spoke hurriedly "You wanna take off? Just the two of us, right now?"

Okay well that wasn't what she had been expecting!

Quietly and in disbelief she asked "Where are we gonna go?" And then immediately wondered why in hell she had asked that?

"I don't know. We'll just go. Come on." _'Oh well there sounds like a plan' _she thought before admonishing herself for being such a damn smartass at a time like this.

"I can't" she hoped he took that well but by the look on his face it would seem that he didn't. His face sort of crumpled into a look somewhere between disappointment, pain and most frighteningly anger, lots and lots of anger directed at Joan

'_Oh yeah, way to go genius' _That irritatingly persistent voice in her head piped up just as Joan was beginning to seriously fear for her life again.

"You mean you WONT!" he was seriously agitated now and Joan started backing away, noticing that her dad and the others where pulling into the lot. "Everybody always leaves me and lets me down and now YOU TOO, I TRUSTED YOU, I THOUGHT YOU WHERE ON MY SIDE!"

'_Oh my god I broke him why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut'_

She was crying real hard now as she was starting to panic

'_I don't wanna die, I'm too young'_

She barely noticed her dad's car screech to a halt along with the others

'_I haven't had sex yet!'_

Or her Dad and his passenger get out of the car

'_I haven't had my own apartment'_

She didn't hear them call to her as Ramsey approached her and grabbed her, pulling her in front of him and pressing the barrel of the gun to her temple

'_I haven't even told Adam that I love him' _She was so caught up in her fear that she didn't even realise the reality of what she had just confessed to herself after months of denial. All she could think of or feel was the gun

But when she heard one voice, a familiar welcome voice calling to Ramsey to let her go she snapped out of her 'deer in the headlights' state and noticed that a few meters away from her stood Adam.

Insanely enough she was more relieved to see him here than she was to see her dad and the police, who where now pointing their guns at Ramsey and therefore her.

But her father was having none of this and ordered the men around him to lower their weapons, not taking any chances on the young boy holding his baby girl at gunpoint. Joan could see the fear in his eyes as well as the anger, she thought she could imagine what was making him angry aside from the obvious. He was a cop and had weapons pulled on him all the time but to see that happen to his family wasn't something he could easily deal with.

She vaguely heard negotiations in the background with her dad pleading with Ramsey to lower his weapon and let Joan go and Ramsey shouting back various threats and warnings none of which registered in her admittedly frazzled mind as all she could see was the pure, raw fear in Adams gaze as there eyes locked across the distance.

Looking at him now she could think of nothing more that loving him for the rest of her life. How could she ever have hurt him, instructions from god or not she couldn't even fathom how much it must have pained him to see something so precious being destroyed by someone he had trusted, and she had caused that pain. The reality of the pain she had inflicted on him made her weep even harder as she thought she was probably going to die without making things right or at least explaining to Adam why she had done such a horrible thing to him.

"Adam" She whispered against her will, the urge to apologise was overwhelming right now.

"Jane, It's okay, your gonna be okay!" He said and she noticed that he was crying. For a while now she had been convinced that he had hated her but looking into his eyes and seeing what was there, she allowed her self the hope that not only did he not hate her but he might just feel the same for her that she did for him.

But, she had to get back to what was important, which at the moment funnily enough wasn't her own life.

"Adam I'm sorry" It had come out in more of a blubber that she had intended but she saw that he had heard her when he too started crying harder.

"God, that doesn't matter now, okay, I forgive you"

"Shut up all of you just back off!" Ramsey shouted. Oddly enough she had remained aware of the gun at her head but had kinda forgotten about Ramsey and now the fear was back full force.

"You don't wanna hurt her son, just calm down and we can go talk about this." Her dad was trying not to panic but he wasn't doing a very good job of it.

Ramsey jammed the gun even harder into her temple making Joan wince in pain " Oh yeah what makes you so sure I don't wanna hurt her huh? She made me think she was on my side and then turned against me just like everybody else" He had been jerking her sharply throughout his speech and she was starting to feel nauseous.

"Because you're not a killer, because … she did believe in you and because I swear I will rip you apart if you harm my daughter" His voice cracked a little at the end of the sentence.

Ramsey tightened his grip on Joan's waist crushing her ribs and causing her to yelp out load a little.

Adam took a small step towards them with his hands spread wide at his side in an nonthreatening gesture and softly spoke to Ramsey

"Hey come on your hurting her, she doesn't deserve this let her go"

"What do you care what happens to her, I heard about what she did to you man, I'll be doing you a favour" Shouted Ramsey. Joan was becoming more and more convinced that she was going to die here tonight.

'_And the 1__st__ thing I'm gonna do when I get to heaven is kick Gods ass!'_

Adam's face became awash in an emotion she hadn't ever seen on him before … Anger. She had seen him happy, sad and hurt but never angry.

"Don't say that, she made a mistake but she doesn't deserve to die" He emphasised the last word as his eyes locked with Joan's once more. They were both crying from fear, anger, pain and disbelief that any of this was actually happening.

All of a sudden the world began to move around Joan and for a second she was afraid that she was passing out but soon she realised that Ramsey had thrown her to the ground to his side, and he was still holding the gun on her

"Oh yeah, who can be sure who deserves to die" Ramsey was crying too and she realised that he no longer had any cover form the cops bullets, he realised this too and just didn't care, he wanted to die. For some crazy reason beyond her imagination she still felt the need to protect him. Staying on the ground she saw that her dad and the others had once again trained their guns on Ramsey so she shouted out "No dad don't shoot he doesn't deserve to die either" Her dad didn't shoot but kept his gun up and said

"Joan this isn't a game he has a gun pointed at you" Looking up at Ramsey she saw that while he still was aiming at her he was focusing his eyes on the police with sort of a dead expression that really scared her, for his life as much as hers

"Joan maybe you should just chill yo!" Adam was looking really worried at the situation, she was free from his grasp now but still in a lot of danger from Ramsey and herself.

Rising to her feet she was dismayed to find that Ramsey wasn't all that catatonic as the gun followed her up, remaining aimed at her head.

"Ramsey please let them help you, I was … I am on your side, so are they, just put down the gun" She was careful to keep her voice low and calm but failed to hide the quiver in her tone that betrayed her fear.

"You don't get it" He said, looking at her, his eyes held no emotion, no feeling, just phantom moisture from unfallen tears "It's over" Her dad took a small step forward and started to speak but paused as Ramsey then aimed the weapon at him. He raised his hands in a peaceful gesture and continued with what he had started to say.

"It doesn't have to be over son, you can come back from this, please" He knew that by pleading he was probably breaking some rule of negotiation but he was scared to death and was having a little trouble thinking clearly.

Ramsey's expression unexpectedly changed to an almost gentle look, but his eyes remained terrifyingly cold. "You love her, don't you, you wanna protect her"

Taking in a deep breath he said "she's my daughter" It came out as more of a plea than a statement.

Through all of this Joan had remained where she was out of fear of startling him. As she glanced back toward Adam she realised that he had quietly moved a lot closer to them.

Very scared for his life and almost certain that Ramsey would shoot him if he tried anything she tried waving her hands at waist level to tell him not to come any closer. Seeing her hand signals he looked up to her eyes and she took in a deep breath at the fear and helplessness she saw there. He wanted to help but she wouldn't let him risk his life for her like that. Showing a small smile she shook her head a little and turned back to where the guy she had been trying to help was pointing a gun at her father.

"Please listen to him you don't want to hurt me or anyone okay you're better than all of this" Evidently that was the wrong thing to say as he, still aiming at her dad, shouted out " NO I'M NOT, THIS IS ME, WHO I AM AND YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING"

She couldn't say why later but for some reason she kept talking "You _are_ a good person I've seen it, we where having fun tonight and you where nice and I know you not a killer"

She was crying again and feeling rather desperate but none of the feelings she had experienced tonight compared to the terror she felt when, Shouting " YES I AAAM!" He turned the gun towards her and squeezed the trigger.

As the deafening sound rang through the night air she barely had time to see her dad dive towards Ramsey or the other cops raise there weapons again as she was thrown to the ground painfully from impact. But after a second of thinking she had been shot she realised that it hadn't been a bullet that had thrown her to the ground but infact a body.

Looking at the face resting by her shoulder she was overwhelmed with emotion to see Adams face but happiness soon turned to something else entirely as she saw the pain in his face.

When she lifted her hand from his back to find it coated in a thick warm red substance realisation dawnedand she screamed.... loud.


End file.
